Walks outside

FINALLY. Sunshine yesterday. Temps in the high 60's. It was glorious. Ellie took her first stroll in the umbroller. Brinley runs the entire time, but thankfully, when I say, "WAIT!" she actually waits for me. Dang, that's only taken us almost a year to get to! It is the best afternoon filler for us before Ryan comes home from school. But this time, he pulled into the complex as we were making our way back and it was a perfect reunion! We love our daddy!

We are Eggcited

The week leading up to Easter is always fun. Easter egg hunts. Coloring bunnies. Dyeing easter eggs*. and most importantly, talking about the Resurrection and the story of Christ. 

*no dyeing eggs in this family until the amount of children we have can consume all the dyed eggs. Colored eggs fa-reak me out. plus, they stink.

elmo time. Brinley loves to hold Ellie and Ellie loves to lounge on Brinley. win-win.

We started out the week right. Playgroup Easter Egg hunt. It went like this. Chaos. Running. more chaos. and the older kids, Brinley and Ava, getting the majority of the eggs because the younger kids were happy to get one, stop, and consume the contents of the egg. Bless. Those kiddos were so stinking adorable running in the field! We divvied out the eggs after the hunt. Success? zero meltdowns over eggs. The girls were happy to "share" their eggs. 

it was so stinking cold! aka cold for us Floridians! It was only 50. We were freezing and all ended up leaving much earlier than our norm.

the loot! Brinley isn't a candy/chocolate girl, so she was happy with one bag of skittles when we drove home. She has barely touched her candy since.

Ever since Tuesday, we have been having "hunts" in our place. Brinley will go hide them in her room, and come and get me with the basket in hand to go look. I am shocked how well she has hid these eggs! The first time I walked into her room, I didn't see any eggs. I was seriously shocked. It was amazing! She was sooo cute every time I found an egg. Giggling the whole time. Then, it was my turn to hide them for her to find. Basically, we have done that back and forth for 2 and a half days straight. After the 29th time, she still gets so excited to find the eggs. Bless her sweet heart.

We have also been coloring our bunny coloring sheets left over from last Easter. And for Family Home Evening we talked about Jesus Christ. Brinley shared some of what she learned from Primary. Her teachers are saints! It is amazing what that little girl remembers. We have also been practicing the Easter songs the Primary is singing this Sunday! I am so excited for the girls to wear their dresses I'm seriously so close to ironing them just so I can look at them one more time! I plan on cooking up my classic Easter dinner, ham, potato casserole, and green beans. But thankfully this year, I'm not fighting morning sickness! Hooray! can you believe it was only last year? Have a fun week!

WO: Progress and a few setbacks

This past month has been weird. I haven't been motivated to work out at all. The low self esteem from my post-baby body has crept in, and I don't like it. I have felt so crummy. Sure, I look a whole lot better than being 9 months pregnant, I'll give myself that, but dang, keeping Ellie fed is taking a lot of sacrifice.

First, progress. I think I have lost 2 pounds. When I have an empty bladder and have just fed Ellie, I weigh 147 lbs. But on a regular day, I still fluctuate around 150. Who knows. So I guess seeing the scale dip into the 140's is motivating! 

Enter: Jillian.

I love Biggest Loser. I was an avid watcher in the early seasons. As I was eating my bowl of ice cream while watching episodes, she really resonated with me. She felt so genuine. She is intense. and she also reminds me of my own sister Jillian. Equally fit. Equally scary when they are trainers. I borrowed the 30 Day Shred from a friend just to try. So far, it has proved to be the best mama work out. It is 30 minutes start to finish. Yes, please! I've only had it for a few weeks, and I have been working out 3 days a week with it now. During naps or at night while Ryan is studying. I love mutting the tv and jamming to my iPod tunes.

And, the setbacks. 

It is hard though. The whole working out and seeing no results, thing. And the promise of no results until I can really diet and cut calories. It is hard to find the time. Working out during nap time doesn't always work because Brinley will be asleep, and Ellie will be fighting naps the entire time. Missed opportunity. Or after bedtime. Ellie sometimes goes to bed by 8pm, but may be up 2-3 more times before she is OUT for the night.

Trust me, seeing this naked girl does make me happy.

My mama milk is doing wonders for this squish. Her baby rolls are so amazing and I am so proud of that. I did that! As rewarding as it is to see my hard work in true life form, it doesn't completely remove my insecurities about myself. 

Nursing is a constant job and it is hard work. Yes, it has gotten easier. But I still eat and drink all the time and worry about my milk supply every moment of the day. This is the age where Brinley started to tapper off, and I am so scared it is going to happen again. We stopped rice cereal after only 2 days because we felt Ellie wasn't totally ready. She obviously doesn't need anything more than breast milk. and she is sleeping great at night. We are going to reintroduce solids at 6 months.

I have a limited wardrobe right now and it is frustrating. I purged a bunch of old clothes last month and while it felt good, it was also discouraging because I probably would never be able to fit back into some of those clothes. After babies, your body changes. Hips widen. Boobs are big. Booty is bigger. Everything changes. After Brinley, I was a bit rolly in my middle section, but I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans by this point. I know I shouldn't compare, but it sucks. It sucks. Being 15 pounds over weight for me is so discouraging. However, I have found a pair of jeans that work and my everyday Mom tee. Most days, in my mom-iform, I feel pretty good about myself. 

Right now I am in a huge body image rut and I hate it. I just want to sit down and cry when I get out of the shower and see what having 2 kids has done for my poor body. Will it ever be the same? Sadly, no. My skin has been stretched to carry two big babies and I just don't see that changing with just diet and exercise alone. My stomach skin is still so sensitive from being numb. It hurts sometimes when I exercise and when I wear jeans. I have been told that skin may never be back to normal, or ever regain feeling back.

SO, again, I am recommitting myself. It is a constant battle for me. I have so many ups and downs about body imagine. One day, I feel good. I feel thin. I feel powerful! other days, I can barely look at myself in the mirror let alone work out. BLAH. I hate the post baby mind sometimes. It sure can play tricks on you.

Thanks for letting me vent. 

What we did this week

Spring break went by so slowly. We are all so grateful. Ryan has 2 more weeks of work and then he is done! He has worked 20 hours a week for almost his entire law school career. He will spend his last month in law school just being as student and focusing on preparing for his last finals! Those 20 extra hours a week are going to feel foreign! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (can you tell I'm excited?). Life is only getting crazier around here. This was a good recharge week for all of us.

Here are some pictures from the week!

first (steady) time in the jumpy! Before this she would just lean over and have her face smashed up against the toys. Now, she is interacting with the toys. Her feet are still inches from the platform. 

first pony! Doll face. 

on our way to Target!

playing Princesses with Daddy on a Sunday morning.

Panera for dinner.

fancy hair! 

Brinley wrote "Mom" after I told her what letters to write. This one was easy because we were practicing writing M's and she is a pro already at making circles for the O. My heart melted a bit when she proudly held up her accomplishment. 

Yes, Ryan and Brinley went back to Panera the next day to get more shortbread cookies. We are addicted.

Pizza night!!! 

after dinner walk

Library time :-)

story time

we love playing with LEGO. 

impromptu ice cream date. Brinley's face KILLS me. She is crunching her sprinkles. haha!

Look at that squish eying Ryan's cone! She made a few quick leaning attempts at getting a taste.

mid-sprinkle-crunch

Squishy squish

Friday, we FINALLY got Ellie's passport completed and so naturally, we celebrated with some 5 Guys. I had to document my one-handed burger eating.

Thumbs up!

Brinley's first 5 Guys burger. She usually gets the Kosher dog, but asked for the burger this trip.

Whats a weekend without a trip to Walmart? 

and some naps too.

Brinley's first Lunch-able! That sucker was $2!!! No wonder why my parents never bought those for us, but only for special occasions. I don't blame them! 

Just a sister moment I caught on camera.

St. Patrick's Day pancakes! yuuuummmm

the back of Ellie's head always makes me crack up.

Squish at church

We had a fun week! Ryan has a great time at his class and feels really relaxed and recharged to finish the semester. We are getting closer to locking down a place to live in Stuart, so that's exciting! We are still a bit early for the places we are looking at, so hopefully by April 1st, we will know where we are moving to! This week really energized all of us. Lots of family time. Lots of time outside. We are all getting excited for warmer weather, and soon family beach trips!