I've been very reluctant to go to the beach alone with the girls ever since a very traumatizing experience that happened last summer. It took me a couple days to even tell my mom what happened because it was one of those experiences where you weren't exactly sure it even happened.
Thankfully, every one is older now and much more accustomed to our "family beach rules" of never going to the waters edge alone. I've never been a huge fan of water. I have had too many scary near-drowning experiences living in San Diego as a child where now I don't really need to be an adventurous adult anymore. I don't need to prove that to anyone. and don't get me started on the shark problem down here. A close friend of mine died in a water accident during my college years, and when I think of that experience, my heart still beats hard and fast, and my mind just can't wrap around the facts that he actually did die from drowning. After that day, I looked at water differently and I've always been very cautious.
It is amazing how fast things can happen and how your mind races to insane "what-if" situations. It was stupid for me to go to the beach when Brinley was still a wild 3 and a half year old and Ellie was just starting to crawl and eat sand. You want to be that cool mom that takes the kids anywhere and everywhere and have the best time and everyone is happy. So-that's what we did. I packed them up and headed to the beach.
We weren't there more than 15 minutes when I noticed Brinley walking too close to the edge with a bucket to fill with water. The water was going out, and so she kept walking to catch it, not thinking that the water would come back with force only a few seconds later after going out. I felt the need to leave Ellie in her complete sand eating state, and run to Brinley. And when I say run, I got up so fast and sprinted. And I screamed for her to get back. And when I say screamed, I SCREAMED. That's probably the thing I remember most, hearing my voice screaming her name and it getting more and more anxious.
But she was too far. The water came in so fast and when I got to her to pull her up, her head just went under the water. She took a huge gulp of salt water and started coughing. Then she started crying and I just went through the motions. I got a towel for Brinley. Packed up our things. Walked back to the car. And drove home.
I put them in the bath to clean off and then Ellie went down for a nap, and Brinley went into quiet time. I showered and changed and the second I sat on the couch, I lost it. My heart was pounding. My breathing was irregular. And I think I had a mild panic attack. I called Ryan and just cried and cried and cried. And then I called my Mom the next day and cried and cried. And then I kept thinking about it everyday and what could have happened.
Basically, it took me almost a year to go back to the beach alone.
SO--when I woke up on Friday feeling the beach vibes in my blood, I knew it was going to be a good day. It was like the beach gods were smiling down on me saying you can do this, give us another chance. So I said--ok! And off we went.
Let me just say this--it was worth it. And now I want to go every week. Brinley is at the age now where is is more aware. And we've had probably 9 million talks about the ocean and how fun but how dangerous it can be. She was so good at staying close to me and listening. She can even carry the bag of towels! and Ellie never once ate a fist full of sand (hallelujah!!!!). She held a shovel the entire time and just scooped and scooped and scooped. They played together and we all ended up having SUCH a good time.
We're also lucky to live in a "senior citizen" hot spot during the winter months. We get thousands of snowbirds from all over the country from about Thanksgiving-Easter time. You can tell that the beach was packed for a random afternoon, and I was also probably one of the youngest adults by about 40 years. Bless. They all loved watching Brinley and Ellie play in the sand. And it really made me uncomfortable seeing a few old couples ultra cozy on their beach blankets.
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