Adjustment.

Well, it's been 2 weeks already since Ryan started working, and consequently, studying for the bar. And we thought he was busy during law school! hahahaha!!!! Laughable!!!!! The man wakes up at 6am, works out most mornings if he feels up to it, out the door by 7:15 and is at work until 6pm. He bills about 5 hours, and then spends the rest of the day doing bar prep in his office. So, at 6pm, he comes home, we rush through dinner and putting the girls to bed. By 8pm, he is back to studying. When 11pm comes around, he slowly imerges from the bedroom where is desk is and says hi. We are usually in bed before midnight. I pray so hard for him to have the motivation and concentration while he is studying. That he will be productive during those short hours that he does have to study and that he won't be distracted. I have limited my door opening hellos! and have waited until he is ready to come out of the cave. Trust me, we will all be grateful for this to be over!

Like I've said before, law school was not easy. But now that he is working, and loves what he is doing, it makes the bar prep a bit easier. The firm has been very understanding about him needing enough time to study and we couldn't be more grateful for that. At the firm gathering last Saturday, we had so much fun. We truly feel like we've joined a family. Everyone is so loving, and genuinely interested in our lives and our family. So so so thankful for that.

Ellie (or squish), is happy playing with her toys, eating puffs, and watching her big sis. She's transitioned beautifully.

Brinley has been doing much better than when we first got here 3 weeks ago. We had a rough first week with her transitioning and moving in. Ryan gave her a father's blessing on Mother's Day, and I know it has helped her be more understanding and look for positive things here in Jensen Beach. We have been busy finding the library (which is right down the street), the children's museum (5 minutes away), and doing our school time during the day. She is so busy and curious that not having a schedule or something to look forward really brought her mood down. She misses her friends so much. Thankfully, her new sunbeam class at Church is full of friendly faces and she feels more and more comfortable each week. She hasn't fought me once about going to Primary and she walks in so confidently. I am so proud of her. At this age, they get it. They get that their whole lives have been uprooted, and that we are in a new place. We have been trying to make new friends, but as I am also learning, it takes time.

If I think about it too much, you know the whole not having any friends here, it definitely brings me down into a dark lonely place. The young mom dynamic in our new ward is nonexistent which has been difficult. It seems like everyone is 5 years ahead of me. Their oldest is in school and so they don't depend on playgroup anymore for their young kids. Granted, the month of May has been weird for Church attendance (Mother's Day and Memorial Day), so I hope things will smooth out a bit. I'm trying to stay busy here with getting Brinley involved in dance/gymnastics, and being better about having a focused school time. It is challenging. Anything I read tells me I'm not doing enough or doing it right when it comes to school time. We can't afford any pre-k classes right now, so until that can happen (hopefully next year she can get into vpk), we are practicing letters and numbers, and learning from everyday living. She is getting very good at counting things and I try to ask questions, and mini-quiz her as often as she lets me. She has a pretty sassy know-it-all mouth, so I'm trying to not take it so personally and let it roll off. It is amazing that a 3 year old can get under my skin so badly! That girl, I tell ya. She's a pistol.

Before we know it, the bar exam will be over, and we will be anxiously waiting the results. Unfortunately, those won't come in until September-October.

All this doesn't sound like that much fun, huh? Well, I can tell you this. We are so happy here. It is beautiful. There is so much to discover and we are so excited everyday that we live here and that we are finally in this stage of life. The post-school life. Feels good, feels reaaaaal good. We are so grateful for all our many many blessings. To have a job right now means Heavenly Father heard our countless prayers, and in return has blessed us exponentially. 

Mommy, what happens when we die?

Brinley asked me this question the other day in the car on our way to pick up Ryan from work. We usually have pretty deep conversations while we are driving around, but this one left me a bit speechless.

I honestly didn't know how to respond. If her little 3 year old mind was thinking about it, then she obviously needed some comfort from my answer. How long had this been on her mind? Brinley asks some pretty deep questions and she makes me think. Her new thing is how things are made, and where things come from. Yes, we have even addressed did the chicken come first or did the egg come first debate. She makes me think through my answers carefully, or she will keep digging until she finds an answer that suits her. I guess that is a good thing, a curious learning mind, but it worries me sometimes. She knows when I gently fib an answer. She keeps asking until she gets the truth out.

I knew I needed to give her a clear answer.

We have been talking and praying for the victims that were involved in the tornados last week. There are times though when I don't think she is listening to Ryan and I talk in the kitchen. She apparently hears everything (lesson learned on many occasions). 

She asked, Mommy, you said kids were killed in that tornado. Why did they die?

How would you respond? I did my best, praying that words would come, and that she would find comfort in them.

I said, Honey, sometimes people die and unfortunately, we don't understand why. Those kids are now with Heavenly Father and their families up in heaven.

She responded, With their families? Will we die too?

I swallowed, Yes, Brin. We will die someday. But not for a very long time! You and me and Ellie and Daddy are going to be old grandmas and grandpas before we die. But you want to know something?

Her cute voice perked up, what mommy?

I said, You and me and Ellie and Daddy are going to be together forever! After we die, we go to heaven with Heavenly Father and Jesus and we get to play together forever. Every one needs to die first in order to go to heaven.

A few seconds past, and I couldn't catch everything she said, but I knew it was about something she learned from Primary, our bodies have spirits and they go to heaven and we won't get ouchies anymore.

That's right, sweetie! Our bodies will be perfect and we won't feel pain anymore. Heavenly Father and Jesus love us so much that they want us to live forever together as a family and I am so happy to be with you and Ellie and Daddy forever.

We pulled up to the firm, and Ryan hopped in the car and into a deep conversation we didn't think we would need to cover for awhile.

Daddy, Brinley has been asking some questions about when we die.

Ryan looked at me like, aaaaand?

But before I could say something, Brinley chimmed in, Ya and mommy said that those kids that were killed in the tornado don't have ouchies anymore and they are with Jesus and their families and their grandmas and their dogs and their cats.

---

A few days later, when my parents arrived, Ryan and I had an obligation with the firm one night. My parents babysat and got the girls to bed while we were gone. When grandma was tucking Brinley to bed, Brinley asked grandma, Where is heaven?

Grandma: Sometimes it feels like heaven is so far away, but when we pray and read the scriptures, it makes heaven feel much closer to us.

Brinley: the scriptures?

G: yes, in the scriptures, it tells us about heaven.

B: when my mommy comes home, we will look it up on the internet. We always look up things on the internet, so we'll look at where heaven is.

That girl, I tell ya. She is so smart. She is only 3 and a half! The conversation she had with my Mom makes me laugh so hard. Yes, we do google a lot. We have talked about the Plan of Salvation during Family Home Evening before, but when something as tragic as that tornado happens, and she hears about it, I am grateful for these teaching opportunities. It helps me remember my wonderful time spent in Primary and really learning the Gospel in simple terms.

She has been very concerned about tornados hitting us and has talked about it many times since they hit Oklahoma. We have prayed countless times for those victims and their families. I told her it would be very unlikely for a tornado to come here, but we do have hurricanes. We then talked about what a hurricane is and what to do. Thankfully, we know days before a hurricane hits so we are going to address our emergency plan and 72-hour kits during our next Family Home Evening.

Did I do okay?

riding on her new scooter from grandma and grandpa Steele. Cutest 3 year old on the block.

Memorial Day Weekend

/Thursday/
parents pulled into town around 10:15pm
Ryan finished study for the night at 10:16pm

/Friday/
morning walk with the dogs
headed to the beach, taking the long way through downtown Stuart
beach time at Bathtub Reef Beach for a few hours
nap time for the kiddos//shopping for Mom and I at Target
boys golfed
girl dinner at Panera

/Saturday/
parents took the dogs for an early morning stroll on the beach
headed for the Oceanography Center at 10am
lunch at Pei Wei
visited Ryan at his firm while he spent the day studying for the Bar
naps for everyone
appetizers and desserts with the Firm while my parents babysat the girls and put them to bed

puffs with Grandma

Grandpa got splashed by the sting rays!

picking up the horseshoe crabs. this one was the itty bitty baby of the bunch.

/Sunday/

church

nap time

beach walk

turkey burgers for dinner

brownies and whip cream for dessert

/Monday/

bar study for Ryan at the firm-in his words how the studying is going, I want to blow my brains out.

Dad driving range

shopping for some new Brinley clothes

nap time

beach in the afternoon; too windy, we left earlier than expected

bath for the girls

ordered Olive Garden take-out for dinner

The Voice and brownies for dessert

these fair-skinned beauties need to work on their tans :-)

Ellie's first time sitting in the sand! Thank goodness that binky was in or the sand would have definitely gone in her mouth.

exploring with grandpa. 

Yes, Julia, we got Brinley the same suit! We can see her running in that neon suit from anywhere on the beach.

Bathtub Reef beach at low tide. You can really see the reef here and how calm it makes the water. It feels and looks like a bathtub! 

My parents pulled out early Tuesday morning. We miss them already so much! We had a great visit and we can't wait until we're all together again in July for a family reunion in Canada.