Cesarean

It is hard to believe that only 2 weeks ago, Miss Ellie came into the world. 

It is even harder to believe that Ellie came into the world via cesarean section.

The whole day was such a blur and by the time we got home a couple days later, I vowed to never ever have another c-section (if I could help it). I was in so much pain and agony. I could not get out of bed by myself, and even then, I was almost in tears begging Ryan to just pick me up. I had to wake him up every time Ellie needed to nurse. and every time I needed to go to the bathroom. and every time I needed help getting my next dose of drugs. But as the good husband he is, he forced encouraged me to do things by myself to help with feeling more independent. He went right back to school and work after we got home from the hospital, so I was grateful that he helped me find my own ways of doing things.

If I missed my next dose of pain killers even by a minute, my body was raging. Raging! While my mom was here, she forced me to nap a few times a day by taking Ellie right after she nursed, and somehow entertained Brinley at the same time. There was even a day where I was sooo exhausted at 8:30PM that I went to bed for an hour, woke up at 9:3PM, nursed Ellie, and went back to bed a couple hours later. That hour of sleep refreshed me almost completely. I was amazed at what an hour of dead-to-the-world sleep did for me. And I still try to get an hour of sleep while Brinley is down for her nap. Does wonders for my energy in the afternoon before Ryan comes home from school!

I had this pretty awesome system set up with pillows when I slept or when I had to nurse Ellie. I had a flatter pillow to wedge under my tummy so it wouldn't hang and pull on the incision. and then when I nursed, I had to use this fat pillow at the base of my back to help me sit straight. I have now kicked all my pillow tricks and am back to sleeping with my beloved body pillow.

I kept asking my mom, when will I feel normal again!? She had a c-section with my younger brother (her last baby) and so she was a great resource to have when it came to pain, or when I would start to feel better again.

Every night was such a battle because getting in and out of bed was such a chore. My incision hurt so bad that I thought it would split open if I had to move any more. And laying down? Even worse! Thankfully, Ellie only seemed to be waking up around 3am and 6am to nurse, so my times having to get up were very few. I just remember staying in one position for what felt like minutes just because I thought if I moved anymore, I would pass out from the pain or the fear that my body would just split open. 

 I can't remember which day I started to actually walk straight, but it took almost the entire first week. I was always hunched over. Even the thought of standing up straight almost put me in tears. And even now, 2 weeks later, I clench my belly every time I need to sneeze, cough, or laugh. 

However, I took a turn. A turn for the better. My mom kept reminding me that with each week, I should be feeling strong and better. I am amazed that at 2 weeks, I am completely okay. Tired, naturally, but my body is stronger. And boy, losing that 30 pounds has done wonders for my energy. Still have a solid 15-20 more pounds to lose until I can gracefully fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, but I am amazed how much my stomach has shrunken down. Each day, my incision is feeling better and better. Who knows how long that skin will stay numb, but at least my stomach isn't busting open :-) I am rocking leggings and pajama pants while I'm home because I still don't like the feeling of something pressing up against my incision, but for special occasions, I slip into my maternity jeans :-) Class act, I know.

On Tuesday, I had my 2 week post op appointment. My incision is healing perfectly, and my doctor confirmed again our decision for the c-section. He said that it could not have gone smoother. He encouraged me to increase my activity and he let me know I could start "picking at the glue on my incision site...if I wanted to." HAHA!! I was like...ummm...I'll let that one naturally come off.

I even went to the dr appointment with both girls...by myself!!! I did great. Completely in control and had lots of fun with them. Thankfully, Ellie slept the entire trip out so that made it easy! Brinley is such a sport and is learning to walk closer to me while we are out and about with the stroller. I have also noticed a new patience in Brinley towards me. I know I can be more patient with her when we are out, but I'm learning still. She just wants to be all over the place sometimes and it is hard for me to take a deep breath when juggling both girls.

I have zero regrets having a c-section. I can't believe that in just 2 weeks of having serious abdominal surgery, I feel so energized and happy about having a baby. The worst part when having a baby, c-section or vaginal, is the recovery and feeling so crummy. It took me weeeeeks to feel okay after having Brinley. The nurses in the hospital joked that I had a vaginal cesarean with Brinley. Gives you a pretty good idea how I felt for awhile! Sure, my body looks wonky now, but at least I am not in pain. I occasionally take tylenol or ibuprofen for the pain, but for the most part, I am drug free and feeling great. I know when I've done too much during the day when I really start feeling my incision pull at night. It is a good reminder to slooooow down. 

I go back in a month to have the 6 wk recovery write off!!