I didn't brush my teeth until 11:30am today. One day last week, 2pm. Yep.
I wish it was just me and Brin, everyday.
Ryan busts out the most random comments. "You know who has a great voice? Pink." (ahh oookay babe)
and he said, "I've always really liked that Lady Marmalade song." (WHAT!?)
I love keeping secrets.
Okay, I guess I spilled that secret about Ryan, but really, to show how manly he is, he knows EVERYTHING about sports. We watched the NBA all-stars all weekend on TNT. I loved it. It is fun to see him get so hipe about sports.
Right now, cooking dinner is a CHORE. I'd rather order out every night.
I ate a yogurt last night at 11pm in bed.
I wish my nannying gig was more fun. I know it's work, but really, I shouldn't be stressing this much!
I've been getting headaches everyday for the past two weeks. Not sure why...I usually know the triggers of my headaches, but right now, I am baffled!
I haven't had ONE sip of diet coke in over two months. I had a two week caffeine hangover with headaches everyday. It was the WORST. I don't even crave diet coke anymore. No really, it makes me sad. Diet coke was like, my bff.
Pretty sure Ryan and I say "Brinley, you are so cute" over a hundred times a day. I can't help it! She is darling. I love seeing her little personality blossom. She cracks me up. She is saying lots of words right now and it just makes me laugh. She repeats words back, but really, they all sound the same. But she tries SO hard to say them.
I feel bad, I judge everyone on The Bachelor. But isn't that reality TV is for??
I've been reading my scriptures everyday without fail for 30 days straight. I have a calendar where I check off if I did it or not. I know, sooooo elementary, right??? It WORKS. and with it as important as scripture reading, I am sticking to it!
I honestly have to take our situation one day at a time. If I'm not stressing about school and our future, I'm stressing about money. I know being in school is the right thing to do, trust me, I KNOW. But, it is a daily battle getting through it.
I feel isolated and alone for some of the day. It's hard staying home with kids and not having a chance to leave if we wanted to. I miss having adult interactions!
But, I wouldn't trade it for anything. With all the stress, tears, lonely times, we are building a future. And THAT is much more important than anything I'm doing. We are building something bigger than ourselves and I can't wait for our life after school.
I'm really trying to be more optimistic and go with the flow because I've realized that when I stress constantly about EVERYTHING, I just dig a big hole for myself. It doesn't get us anywhere. I've noticed a change in myself, so I think it's working!
Was I honest enough?
How liberating. I am my most honest self at night, in bed, AFTER we turn off our lamps. I just spill. Maybe because Chris can't see me cry and I feel safe to say whatever I want. This was really good, Meagan. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteit's good to be honest! the feelings that you have are natural! hang in there and keep seeing the bright side of life, like you always do!
ReplyDeletelove love love the post! Seriously over half those things I can totally relate to!! I love you and miss you!! I know how you feel being isolated...at least you can go outside...this snow will never end!!
ReplyDeletei like truth tuesday! :)
ReplyDeleteand i LOVE you.
it's good to know that other people are feeling the exact same way i am!!
There is so much to try and remember, i feel like I have something to say about everything!
ReplyDeleteOk sooo don't give into diet coke. I stopped drinking it for 2 years before i met Brian. I was also addicted. And you know what? It is totally like a drug because I started drinking it again, and I am totally addicted again. Ok not like I can never sop addicted, but I love it again. So stay strong! You will be healthier and feel better.
As for the nannying, I don't know how you do it. Good for you because I would go crazy!!
See, i can't remember what else you said now but I loved truth Tuesday!
You are awesome and strong girl. You can do this. Just try to keep laughing. Find something funny in the situations that bring you down. It doesn't always work but sometimes it really does. And you can ALWAYS call me if you need an ear to scream/cry into cuz you know I know EXACTLY where you are. Especially now that Drew is back in school...i.e. holed up in the bedroom til 10 at night doing homework. BOO!
ReplyDeleteBut I like what you said about building a future. I needed to hear that today.
:0)
Thank you for sharing your honest feelings. So much of what you said is how I feel or how I have felt. I watch a boy twice a week and I can't even imagine watching him every day of the week. You are an amazing person for doing what needs to be done. Stressing about money is part of the whole experience of being in graduate school, right? I know it isn't easy to see now, but time will fly. Hang in there and just know how awesome you are!
ReplyDeleteWell, I can definitely relate to almost all of those things you've listed. Maybe I should post silly things Kevin has said lately-sometimes I don't even know the appropriate way to respond haha! Well, like I said before, next time you're at home and needing adult interaction write a letter! i love old fashioned letters! Give Brin a kiss from me!
ReplyDeletexoxo
first off, love the brushing of the teeth honesty. sooo funny. and the scriptures- way to go! having a calendar sounds BRILLIANT. and the school thing- i hear ya. and law school is WAY more stressful than grad school! one day at a time is the best- i can't even let my mind think about finances too long or i start having a panic attack. eek!
ReplyDeleteheadaches, huh? i had bad headaches with gavin (and sort of with james) my first trimester ;)