I realize this is a very sensitive subject, doctor deliveries verses midwife deliveries. Lest we forget, this is my personal blog, with my oh so opinionated opinions :-) So if you are in the least bit offended, please forgive me, and still be my friend :-)
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When I chose my doctors office, right after we found out we were expecting last February 2011, I didn't really think about the possibilites of a midwife delivering our baby. I only saw one midwife, just at my first baby appointment, and I really had no idea if she really was a midwife or nurse practitioner. Regardless, the miscarriage/molar pregnancy thing happened, and my wonderful doctor took over and helped through that process. He did my surgery and was there for me during the many consults and questions during that year wait.
Now came this pregnancy, and I saw more midwifes at my appointments. Okay, this is where it really got sticky. I saw one midwife when I think I was about 13 weeks along. I didn't really think much about it, but she asked me if I was going to have a doctor deliver this baby or a midwife. The only concern I had was that when I was in the last moments delivering Brinley, the doctor said out loud, "this is going to be a tight squeeze" and kind of freaked me out of the potential emergency c-section if she wasn't able to come out vaginally. It wasn't an emergency situation, but I've just thought a lot about it, and the scary possibilities of it happening again. Which made me lean towards a doctor delivery. I was totally honest and told her that I wasn't sure because I didn't know much about midwives in general. But I wasn't opposed to midwives at all. She then told me some interesting things while explaining why midwives are the way to go:
-doctors never answer your questions in appointments. They are too busy.
-they always rush into c-sections.
-and they always cut.
I was a bit confused why she was telling me this, and whatever she was trying to preach to me didn't really have an effect. She kept sitting right in front of me, and saying, "What other questions do you have? Oh, doctors never say this to patients." As I walked out of that appointment, I was left even more confused. I scheduled my next appointment with my doctor to talk with him about it and see what he thought.
Which leads me to what happened yesterday.
We chatted for a moment, checked my measurements, and listened to baby girl's heartbeat. Everything is looking and sounding great! And he didn't even express concern for my weight gain. Which isn't a lot, I think only 14 pounds so far, but I always get annoyed when doctors or nurses look all concerned about it. I can't help it! I'm not eating donuts everyday!!
We chatted for a moment, checked my measurements, and listened to baby girl's heartbeat. Everything is looking and sounding great! And he didn't even express concern for my weight gain. Which isn't a lot, I think only 14 pounds so far, but I always get annoyed when doctors or nurses look all concerned about it. I can't help it! I'm not eating donuts everyday!!
I felt like I needed to tell him what that midwife had told me. Not to get her in trouble, but just to let him know how unprofessional it was for her to say all of that to a patient. He looked soooo bewildered about it. He goes, "honestly, I can't remember the last time I had to do an episiotomy." He then said, "if you want to go with a doctor delivery, I'll be there for you and you don't need to see midwifes again." I definitely didn't want to turn this into like a I hate midwives because I don't, but I just had that weird experience with her that really put me off by the whole idea. I asked him that I thought he wouldn't be the doctor delivering the baby if he wasn't on-call, and that it would be one of the other doctors.
But he said that if I wanted him to deliver the baby, he would be there.
Come on. Rockstar doctor.
So there you go. I'm not one for natural births, home births, water births, or hypno births (what is that anyways!?). I feel comfortable going to the hospital, getting as many drugs as I can (reminds me of that scene in Baby Mama), and having a doctor delivering my baby, even if I only see him for the actual delivery process. My husband is a rockstar at this whole baby labor and delivery experience and I have no doubt he will be there for me 100% again. I do applaud those women who go the natural route. It just isn't for me. and I am definitely not one to write down a birth plan and expect it to go perfectly. Things happen. and as long as the baby is safe, I am fine with just about any intervention to happen to ensure a safe delivery!
Love love love this post! All I have to say from a labor nurse prospective is there is a reason OBs go to school 4 more extra years!! They know what they are doing. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, the rest will fly by! Your such a great mom and example!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. My ob's office was great with both pregnancies. My doctor always answered every question and spent time with me and getting to know me. Plus when I needed the emergency c-section with Addie, we didn't have to wait for an on call doc to come. When the choice was made, she was out safely in 20 minutes.
ReplyDeleteSo I hope this isn't weird that I am commenting since I don't really know you. (I met you one at julias baby shower and saw the link for your blog on hers. I promise I'm not a creeper. Hahaha) anyway I just wanted to tell you how much I like this post. I feel the exact same way. My dr was so great with both of my deliveries. So many people I have talked to lately are all about midwives and natural birth and are so against drs and pain meds. Having a baby is such a wonderful experience and I think we should be able to choose how we do it, without feeling like we are being judged. I totally agree with you; we should be more focused on a healthy baby and mommy, and maybe not so much on how the baby gets here.
ReplyDeleteMeagan! Thank you for the sweet comment and your concern! After I did the post I went back and did an update on kamryn. I realized all you wonderful friends are probably wondering how she is doing.
ReplyDeleteI think the same way, with technology as advance as it it I don't think there is a reason why a labor has to be painful (drugs) are great. I loved my Doctor if we have another baby I'm sure I will be going back to him Kelsea was induce she was 10 days late my doctor was with me all day and I loved it he made everything go sooo smooth I can say I had a perfect labor and yes I had drugs and no pain and I loved it! I feel that I was able to enjoy the birth of my daughter a lot more that way.
ReplyDeleteBrava! Okay, that is totally weird that the mid-wife was trying to sell herself to you. I can imagine that would be extremely uncomfortable. Heck, I felt uneasy reading it! I am currently and personally on the same page as you. Although a lot of friends and family members love a mid-wife (and a home birth) I feel most confident and comfortable in a doctor. When it comes down to it--that is what it is about. What YOU, personally, feel MOST comfortable with, right?
ReplyDeleteI'm with you 100%. My motherinlaw had all of her babies natural and at home..... Totally not me! She is always trying to convince me to do it all natural. No thanks. For some reason people like to make me feel guilty for having the drugs and like I'm not as awesome as them because I opted for the epidural. Whatever! All babies come out the same way. I'd just rather not feel the pain. Gotta love modern medicine! Plus I think if you have an awesome Doctor that helps as well. Having babies is hard no matter how you give birth. It's all worth it in the end!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I can't stand when people make themselves superior because they have a natural childbirth and/or don't find out the gender of their baby. Why are people making such a personal thing--competition?
ReplyDeleteSame here, Ari. It isn't a competition or being more "woman-ly" if you go natural. I always feel like I have to DEFEND why I got an epidural and why I couldn't care less about choosing to go natural. As with some, they have to go naturally because the labor is progressing too quickly! Anyways, I got you girl :-) Thanks for your comment!
ReplyDeleteI think that midwife was a little coo-coo. I visited with a midwife (who I LOVED) and a couple doctors for the first few appointments while I was pregnant with Mason while we were living in Massachusetts. I loved that midwife so much (and would have totally delivered with her) but we moved. I chose a new midwife here in Utah, and loved her too, but I honestly think that I went with a midwife because I did want to go the all-natural way and from what I've read midwifes usually are better at that course of action. I really think though that it depends on the doctor/midwife. I will definitely use my midwife in the future, honestly she was great, but with the crazy midwife you visited it sounds like you should go with the doctor! He sounds sooo much better :) And hypno birthing is basically using breathing and self-hypnosis to deliver your baby - pain medicine free! GOOD LUCK!
ReplyDeleteHynobirthing is so great!!! It's a self-relaxation technique you learn to use for labor, and it really helped me so much- it also helps you go into birthing with a positive mindset- pretty much a mind-over-body/pain kind of thing. My class was awesome and I think everyone should take a hypnobirthing class- even if you want to use a doctor and a hospital and an epidural- it's very educational and helps with your delivery. And I loved every midwife I've had- that sucks that the one you talked to left a bad taste in your mouth- some midwives can be a bit preachy- but most of them are wonderful and they have been delivering babies since the beginning of time and really know women's bodies and how to birth babies. Doctors are great too- it's all about what is good for you and what you're comfortable with :) Whatever most helps you to bring that beautiful baby into the world
ReplyDeleteim with you meg, i will do whatever needs be to get a happy and healthy baby here. based on my sisters and sister in-laws experiences, i HAVE HEARD that your recovery goes much much better without the epidural, so i would like to MAYBE try it one day. if i can do it, great. but if i cant.. nbd. you know what i mean? i think its great to do whatever is best for YOU and i think its weird when people try and slam you with "what is best" (in their opinion). bottom line though- you do whatever you need to do to get that precious little girl here ;) good luck girl.
ReplyDeleteMy thing is, there are plenty of doctors that meet that criteria - will answer questions patiently and thoroughly, only use c-sections as a last resort, and no one does episiotomies anymore (at least that I've heard of). So you get all that, oh, and they've been to medical school and can respond right then and there to any emergency. So it just seems like if you have the right doctor, you have it all.
ReplyDeleteWIth four pregnancies, I have loved my doctors each time. As for your midwife's concerns, it all depends on the doc in question. Or the midwife, for that matter. Go with your gut!
ReplyDeleteThat's sweet if you can get to see the doctor who's gonna deliver your baby every time! I'd totally go for that! Especially if you already like him. I don't usually care too much midwife vs. doc. It's all on an individual basis. I do like the idea of the same person all the way through (as long as you like them). As far as the drugs go, I had the same attitude until I found out I'm one of those who go too fast for drugs. Ah well. I'll take it. Recovery is indeed nice :) But, seriously, take advantage of having less pain if you can! I'm just so excited for you to be having another little girl! That's all that matters in the end.
ReplyDeleteI go to an office that has midwives and docs. I loved my midwives and didn't feel like they pressured me to not have an epidural. I think it really just depends on the people you see, whether they are a doctor or a midwife. I dont think they can be categorized into "this is what happens if you see a midwife" or "this is what happens when you see a doctor." As long as you like the person that is treating you as a patient, I don't think it matters! I'll use the same midwives again.
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