Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Mommy, what happens when we die?

Brinley asked me this question the other day in the car on our way to pick up Ryan from work. We usually have pretty deep conversations while we are driving around, but this one left me a bit speechless.

I honestly didn't know how to respond. If her little 3 year old mind was thinking about it, then she obviously needed some comfort from my answer. How long had this been on her mind? Brinley asks some pretty deep questions and she makes me think. Her new thing is how things are made, and where things come from. Yes, we have even addressed did the chicken come first or did the egg come first debate. She makes me think through my answers carefully, or she will keep digging until she finds an answer that suits her. I guess that is a good thing, a curious learning mind, but it worries me sometimes. She knows when I gently fib an answer. She keeps asking until she gets the truth out.

I knew I needed to give her a clear answer.

We have been talking and praying for the victims that were involved in the tornados last week. There are times though when I don't think she is listening to Ryan and I talk in the kitchen. She apparently hears everything (lesson learned on many occasions). 

She asked, Mommy, you said kids were killed in that tornado. Why did they die?

How would you respond? I did my best, praying that words would come, and that she would find comfort in them.

I said, Honey, sometimes people die and unfortunately, we don't understand why. Those kids are now with Heavenly Father and their families up in heaven.

She responded, With their families? Will we die too?

I swallowed, Yes, Brin. We will die someday. But not for a very long time! You and me and Ellie and Daddy are going to be old grandmas and grandpas before we die. But you want to know something?

Her cute voice perked up, what mommy?

I said, You and me and Ellie and Daddy are going to be together forever! After we die, we go to heaven with Heavenly Father and Jesus and we get to play together forever. Every one needs to die first in order to go to heaven.

A few seconds past, and I couldn't catch everything she said, but I knew it was about something she learned from Primary, our bodies have spirits and they go to heaven and we won't get ouchies anymore.

That's right, sweetie! Our bodies will be perfect and we won't feel pain anymore. Heavenly Father and Jesus love us so much that they want us to live forever together as a family and I am so happy to be with you and Ellie and Daddy forever.

We pulled up to the firm, and Ryan hopped in the car and into a deep conversation we didn't think we would need to cover for awhile.

Daddy, Brinley has been asking some questions about when we die.

Ryan looked at me like, aaaaand?

But before I could say something, Brinley chimmed in, Ya and mommy said that those kids that were killed in the tornado don't have ouchies anymore and they are with Jesus and their families and their grandmas and their dogs and their cats.

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A few days later, when my parents arrived, Ryan and I had an obligation with the firm one night. My parents babysat and got the girls to bed while we were gone. When grandma was tucking Brinley to bed, Brinley asked grandma, Where is heaven?

Grandma: Sometimes it feels like heaven is so far away, but when we pray and read the scriptures, it makes heaven feel much closer to us.

Brinley: the scriptures?

G: yes, in the scriptures, it tells us about heaven.

B: when my mommy comes home, we will look it up on the internet. We always look up things on the internet, so we'll look at where heaven is.

That girl, I tell ya. She is so smart. She is only 3 and a half! The conversation she had with my Mom makes me laugh so hard. Yes, we do google a lot. We have talked about the Plan of Salvation during Family Home Evening before, but when something as tragic as that tornado happens, and she hears about it, I am grateful for these teaching opportunities. It helps me remember my wonderful time spent in Primary and really learning the Gospel in simple terms.

She has been very concerned about tornados hitting us and has talked about it many times since they hit Oklahoma. We have prayed countless times for those victims and their families. I told her it would be very unlikely for a tornado to come here, but we do have hurricanes. We then talked about what a hurricane is and what to do. Thankfully, we know days before a hurricane hits so we are going to address our emergency plan and 72-hour kits during our next Family Home Evening.

Did I do okay?

riding on her new scooter from grandma and grandpa Steele. Cutest 3 year old on the block.

9 comments:

  1. You did great! She seems so mature for a 3 year old.

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  2. your answer is perfect! you are doing great as a parent! her maturity and curiosity is result of that! keep writing all of these funny stories down! i love reading them plus they will be so fun to read to her later on!

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  3. Oh wow, that is SO hard! I think you handled it really well. If it makes you feel any better, a few of my other friends' toddlers are asking questions like this too. I guess autism does have its perks sometimes! haha. I don't see myself having to answer these kinds of questions for a WHILE. lol. She is so smart and mature for her age!

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  4. Kiley does that too! It is very unnerving. I think you did great! I always take the easy way out and tell her to go ask Daddy. He explains things so much better than me!

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  5. so so so sweet. got choked up just reading it. you're an amazing mom!

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  6. you did a great job! can't imagine myself in that situation and what i'd say!
    man she is so sharp! a true lawyers daughter ;) so funny how she suggested looking it up on the internet!

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  7. Gosh darn these kids are bright! I also think you handled that beautifully. I had tears in my eyes reading it, thankful that there are beautiful, inquisitive three year olds in the world and thankful we have amazing words to comfort and guide us!

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  8. What a sweet little girl you guys have! I think you are doing an AMAZING job!!!

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  9. There is a book "what happens when people die" by timothy robinson. Its sold at LDS bookstores. We got it for Issac after my mother inlaw died last summer, he was only 3 and it was hard for him to understand WHY grandma wasnt there anymore, where did she go? Is she coming back? etc. Great book. Hard to read though without getting emotional. My hubby refuses to read it, so its a job I have to do for Issac when he wants to read it.

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